dickythorpe said:
The last thing people in her position need are thoughtless and ignorant comments like Dicky’s.
Good grief man!!!
Let me explain to you exactly why your comments were (and continue to be) thoughtless, ignorant and starting to border on the repulsive.
In this country we have a problem with victim blaming when it comes to crimes against women. "Why was she there?", "Look what she was wearing", "Why hasn't she left him?", "Why has she exposed it in that manner?" (i.e. your point)... sometimes you see it in a more 'positive' light - "She did all the right things and it still happened" (as if others who made more naïve, reckless, etc. decisions somehow deserve it). Good victims (poor them) and bad victims (they had it coming).
You seem to be suggesting that someone who is the victim of domestic abuse (or any other crime for that matter) has to report it in a way that you are comfortable with. What would have made you feel comfortable? If she'd told a friend? A stranger? A nurse? Her GP?
Again, you're supporting the idea that there are two types of victim - the good ones who go to the police and file a report and those who decide to release it in some other way. Quite frankly, after reading a story like this, your first thoughts of "whys she put it on Instagram" are at best weird and at worst, pretty worrying.
Nobody is claiming to be an expert in this specific matter. All you are being told is that if someone is a victim of domestic abuse then they are quite frankly able to deal with it in whichever way they feel most f*cking comfortable with.
It appears now as if perhaps she hasn't even released it herself but a friend or family member has done it on her behalf. Probably against her will and without her consent. Possibly because they're worried that the next time, she'll end up even more badly hurt or worse. And that thought probably absolutely kills them. And the guilt they can't do anything about it probably eats them up every single day.
You asked who is filming or recording this? Obviously it's her. Not sure why this needs explaining to you. She's obviously been keeping a bank of evidence to one day go to the police. But guess what... going to the police with these sorts of allegations rarely gets you anywhere. So she needs evidence. And even then it's probably touch and go. Especially when the person doing it all to you is a multi millionaire.
And do you want to know what goes through people's heads in this type of scenario? As to why she hasn't gone and reported this in a way that satisfies you? Well...
She's probably worried about how it may impact on his family - his parents who may have been extremely kind to her for years. It would break his Mum. She can't do that to her. Then probably his sister will stop talking to her. Maybe she counts her as one of her best mates. She'll lose that. Then there's their mutual friends who may take his side over hers. They've known him since he was in school. They're bound to stick up for him. She's just a silly WAG. We all know the reputation they have, after all.
Her brother will believe her though. He'll go absolutely mental. He'll probably catch up with him and make him regret the way he treated his little sister. Then her brother will be in trouble and she doesn't want that. She couldn't live with the guilt if she was responsible for her brother getting a criminal record.
And there was that time she acted in a way she isn't proud of. Got drunk/cheated/suffered mental health issues/said something mean about someone close to her. That'll all come out. He'll make sure of that. And then what will people think of her? She really will be all alone.
She's also so weak putting up with it for so long, isn't she? What will people think? Her parents will be ashamed of her. She wasn't raised to be a coward. People will blame her for staying so long. "It couldn't have been that bad. Something seems fishy to me"
And there have been times she's deserved it. She should have been a better girlfriend. He provides for her and is under so much stress. He plays football in front of 70,000 people and millions on the TV. He's under massive scrutiny, it's no wonder he snaps. He does all this and she can't even make him happy. Pathetic.
Crazily, she's probably also worried for him because deep down, she does love him. He's worked so hard for his career, this will ruin him. Just over something silly that is none of anyone else's business. And for the vast majority of the time, he's probably very good to her. He was so lovely to her when her Nan died. That's the nice side of him. Perhaps if she behaves herself and does what he wants, she'll see that side more. Nobody's perfect, right?
And you know why all this will be in someone's head? Because their abuser probably f*cking told her every single time he's hurt her.
And you know what enables people like this? People like you who instead of supporting the victim, comes up with irrelevant thoughts and questions that make her seem like she's in the wrong and not him.
It isn't a good look, mate.
